on forgiving

For the days when I sat alone
I forgive you
For the days you called names
I forgive you
For the many lonely nights
I forgive you
For not knowing how to love
I forgive you
For hitting her
I forgive you
For not standing up for yourself
I forgive you
For not loving her
I forgive you
For the wounds of words,
to each other, to me,
I forgive you

I know you
did your best
with what you had
so did I
with what I had

But something still…
a wound bleeds…
an ache within…
a dream broken and lost…
a “thorn” still pierces
again and again
spews ugly lies
verbally venomous
spiritually spiteful
emotionally destructive
malignant words…

and eventually
I will also forgive this
because I choose to live
with wounds healed
and follow Love’s way
with life abundant

so I fall into the lap of the Father
the pavilion, cleft, high place, tower, rock,
He, El Roi, who sees everything
the place I can rest,
think, heal, breathe,
away from the steel-tipped blade
that eats away
soul and heart and flesh
the axe that slices off true foundations
all that God made daughters of Eve to be
all that He made of me

And ask for strength
to forgive
and to show me
the way out of the valley.

***

Linking with Emily at Imperfect Prose
and with Ann at Walk with Him Wednesdays
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~ by pathoftreasure on July 12, 2011.

8 Responses to “on forgiving”

  1. i think forgiving is a powerful force and the lap of the father a good place to be…away from the steel-tipped blade.. i like..

  2. A very inspiring post about forgiveness. What keeps us captive by past hurts is our failure or refusal to forgive. But it is not easy, because it is only by recognizing that we are all humans just like those who have offended us that we will be able to swallow our pride and offer our forgiveness. 🙂

  3. The repetition here is like a chorus, a refrain, a prayer, a mantra, a rhythmic reminder that forgiveness, while no easy thing, is crucial, an endless thread through the heart…

  4. forgiveness is a beautiful gift we give to not only the other person but to ourselves…this is a lovley write…and the repitition surely drives it home…

  5. El Roi. Isn’t that just amazing? This is beautiful, sad and peaceful.

  6. Beautiful and heartfelt piece. I’m so thankful for the comfort He gives. I couldn’t survive without it. Oh, forgiveness is a difficult road, but so worth it. Thank you for sharing a lovely piece with us 🙂

  7. thank you for your vulnerability friend. what a sacrifice, this forgiveness, no? xo

  8. Anna, seems we have walked part of the same path – the day you commented on my blog – i wrote on my other blog about this topic – i understand Every. Single. Word. You put it so much more poetically than me. the only way I was able to forgive – was to have God do it for me. For a long time it was my best proof that God existed – that I was able to forgive the only one I did not want to forgive. I have much more proof now – but that one will always be a special one. I hearted this – every line – every word. Thank you for it. And God bless and keep you and each and every one of yours this day. And thank you for finding me – and commenting – so that way I could find you – and read your words.

Thank you for your gracious comments!

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